Take one drink when...
* Anyone says "All right" trying to calm someone down
* Anyone yells "Lucy!"
* Anyone contemplates the pros and cons of being a defence attorney
* Anyone not a defence attorney provokes the above
* The case involves drugs (take two if the case becomes 'personal')
* There's a plot or subplot revolving around Bobby's and Lindsay's relationship. (take another if it involves arguing, and down everything in sight if they don't make up by the end of the episode)
* Someone mentions the infamous "Plan B" (take another if they actually use it)
* Someone yells "objection!" (take another if they say it at the same time, take two more if they stand!)
* Somebody insults someone else (take two if it's in latin!)
* Lindsay (or anyone else, for that matter) says a case will be "two depositions, tops" and ends up taking six months or requires the entire firm to fly to California
* Someone is sent to jail for contempt (two drinks if the judge personally releases them)
* The client is a medical practitioner of some kind
* The client is or dresses like a nun (or has one stuffed in a closet) (Take two drinks if it's George Vogelman because he's a medical practitioner AND dresses like a nun :)
* Someone finds something disgusting in the office (whether it be rats, real severed heads, fake severed heads, bloody knives etc etc)
* Someone gets stabbed, shot, punched, slapped, spat on, strangled etc
* We see Judge Swackheim say hmmm mmm and be brutally unfair (chug everything in sight if he acts like a real judge)
* Someone gets a haircut (take two if someone notices)
* The newly appointed client has already fired six other lawyers and the trial starts tomorrow
* Someone mentions the internet (chug everything in sight if it's in a nice way)
* Bobby says "... in my office!"
Take two drinks when...
* Helen plays the good guy
* The DA doesn't like prosecuting a case
* A cast member grabs another's groin
* Jimmy's Catholic upbringing gets the better of him
* Someone turns up naked (the person can be dead)
* A reference is made to Ally McBeal, or the Ally cast guest-stars
* Someone suffers from hallucinations or flashbacks
* The judge yells at the jury
* Someone singles out a juror
Chug your whole drink when...
* Richard plays the good guy
* They get through a whole episode without any arguing or deep, soul-searching conversations
* Someone nearly gets thrown out the window
* There's a judge other than Kittleson, Hiller, Swackheim
Please be patient, I'm not quite done yet